Painting as a Song

I play it off, but I’m dreaming of you
And I’ll keep my cool, but I’m feeling
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear

Listening to the song at first I felt as if it was my love song to Jesus. But listening to it the second time has caught my attention. I imagine it as God speaking to me. It was then that I realized how much Jesus loves me. Each time I try to run away, Jesus hides Himself. He tries to hold back His love for me, and each time He tries, He falls, and stumbles. Afraid that I might run further away from His love. How much He loves.


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I teared. It was such a beautiful moment for me. I had to pause, taking in my emotions and what I truly felt. It has made me realize that God is always the one seeking me out, not I. Each time I run away from Him, Jesus continues to pursue me, unafraid. With every gentle stroke of His love, I find it hard to accept. O how much Jesus loves me, I am ashamed of how I failed to return my love to Him. Fully aware and present, this painting is an expression of my love to Jesus.


To just be, in His presence. 


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